<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>George escapades by Kittywicket</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400414">George escapades</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywicket/pseuds/Kittywicket'>Kittywicket</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:42:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywicket/pseuds/Kittywicket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into the lives of Greg and Mycroft and just how much fun having a Labrador for a pet is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The B word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This actually happened sure was fun a barely five foot woman lifting a 35kg  dog into a wet room.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>George escapades.</p><p> "Gregory where have you been. You and George are ..........<br/>
" what is that smell. Oh my god I have seen cadavers that smell better.......<br/>
No take him right out into the garden. Don't let him shake Gregory. Well that's never coming off the wallpaper. Guess we will be decorating then. Here the hose is turned on how turn it on George, I will go start the shower in the downstairs bathroom. Luckily it's a wet room. Won't matter if he shakes in there. Just hose him down Gregory.   Please. "</p><p> "Sorry love, I wasn't fast enough, he had started rolling in it before I noticed exactly what he was rolling in.  Think it was a squirrel or a rat. It was past the point of identifying anyway. God he stinks. Give me a shout when your ready for him. I will try and get the worst of it off. These jeans are done now won't make any difference if they get wet will it."</p><p> "" Gregory shower is ready bring him through please, don't let him shake. "</p><p> "Come on you, time for a shower get rid of the rest of the smell. You know sometimes I think you do this deliberately. Why do you always get messy when I take you out George. Right then in the shower room. "<br/>
"George get back here, you better not be hiding. Where did you go."<br/>
" My he escaped, got close to the door and he ran for it. "</p><p> "No he better not have Gregory. Dam our room door is open. Quick Gregory find him. Get his treat container, quick shake it. "</p><p> "He didn't go upstairs love, he is like a tank going up those stairs. You know we hear him going up there. No he is down here you try the dining room I will try outside. Take a leash with you. I hadn't taken his collar off yet. He won't come quietly or easily."<br/>
" found him, he is under the kitchen table.  Okay time for your shower George. It will be easier if you just give in now and come quietly. Come on George it won't take long I promise then you can have a few extra treats for being a good boy. Don't look at me like that George, I didn't ask you to roll in dead stuff now did i. It's your own fault. I will come under there if you don't come out. Please George. Okay am coming to get you. You know I can still see you right. Turning your back to me doesn't make you invisible George. "<br/>
"God why do you weigh so much George, you are going on a diet. No more sneaky treats when My isn't here."</p><p> " really Gregory, you have been giving him extra treats. "</p><p> "Didn't think you were there love, sorry it wasn't very often I promise. Just once or twice when you were away and we missed you. I had ice cream he had a few extra treats he didn't have ice cream I promise. "</p><p> "Is that why he had diarrhoea when I came back from Brussels last month."</p><p> " Sorry love, but we missed you. "</p><p> "If I have to go away again Gregory Sherlock will be looking after him. I obviously can't trust you not to feed him ice cream you know how he reacts to dairy. And don't bother saying we can get dairy free from now on either. "<br/>
"Come George. Heel. That's how you get George to behave Gregory. Now bath time."</p><p> " and he is off. Definitely up the stairs this time. You had to say the B word didn't you. Come on round two to George round three coming up. "</p><p> "We clear the rooms methodically, then close the doors once we have checked the rooms. Better do it that way then he can't double back on us. Close the down stairs ones too. We know he isn't in any of them."</p><p> " found him guest room trying to get under the bed. "</p><p> "Gregory that's a divan."</p><p> " yes I know.  He has managed to get his  head under it though. "</p><p> "We will need to carry him then Gregory, he won't come by himself. If we manage to get him down stairs we can carry him into the shower room. "</p><p> "Think I can carry him downstairs love, but will you attach a leash please you keep a hold on that, he won't be able to run away then. Should be easier to get him in then. We can take his collar and leash off once he is the shower. Looks like we will need another collar any way. We won't get the smell out of it will we.<br/>
Come on then George. Let's get you downstairs and into the shower. Sorry sunshine I will be carrying you this time. Did you get his towels love. We will need two at least. "</p><p> " No I didn't, I can get them when you have him in the shower, you know he is fine once we get him in, it's getting him through  the door that's the problem. "</p><p> "Right am going to set him down give me the leash you go and get his towels. And that new medicated shampoo he was scratching when he was out. "</p><p> "When's his next flea treatment due. "</p><p> "25th of the month. Time enough after this latest shower. Right then here goes nothing. Dam we have a deflated dog. Totally limp on the floor My. He isn't for moving. "</p><p> "Let me open the door first. We can both pick him up and carry him in. Okay on three one . Two. Three. And up."</p><p> " no leave him I will do it. If I get him under the chest should be able to just lift him straight in. Right that's  him, keep that door open. A little help here My stop laughing you will set me off then I will drop him and we will be back to square one. Stop laughing and get his paws off the door surround. It's not funny My. Stop filming this.  I hate you you know that right, in fact I think I hate both of you. You and your hell  hound are on your own. Am going to shower upstairs then sulk. You get clean up My. And you George have just lost all your ice cream privelges. If I find out you sent that to Anthea or Sherlock we will be having words Mr. Lestrade-Holmes. "</p><p> "Think he means it this time George."</p><p> Yea, Me too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bella the Bimbo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Meet the accomplice</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Gregory,  I am heading out with George. "</p>
<p> "Think I will come with you love. It's a beautiful crisp day. Want to try that new launcher we got. "</p>
<p> "Yes good idea. We can go to that little coffee shop after he is exhausted and get him a non dairy puppacino."</p>
<p> " he had one yesterday when I had him out so that's it till next week. But Sue said she has started making healthy treats for her non paying customers, they have a choice of either sweet potatoe or banana, both very good for dogs according to her vet. She was saying it's the best move she could make having water bowls for dogs and offering dog treats, her foot fall has risen a lot she said. Makes sense I suppose. "</p>
<p> "Yes I suppose it does, cater to dogs as well as their owners. Not sure about the treats though. "</p>
<p> "She has been experimenting on her own pup, Poppy loves them and they are good for them too. She doesn't use wheat flour or dairy. So no potential dairy or gluten incidents. Besides it offers another different taste I suppose. Sue will have all the table and chairs out too. We can sit with a coffee while George watches the world to by. I might look into making his own treats all well. Some of the ones we get are a bit high in calories and preservatives. See if we can get him on healthier stuff. I heard one woman ask Sue if she had tried any peanut butter ones yet. Not that peanut butter is very healthy. Sue told her they were next on the list along with honey. You know she had to put a sign in both windows saying dogs were welcome and if anyone had allergies don't come in then complain when your allergy flared up. "</p>
<p> "You can't be too obvious now am afraid. She will have lost a few customers certainly but she has gained more. It was a smart business move. Being just outside a popular park benefits her too. "</p>
<p> "My where's George's lead, I don't have it."</p>
<p> " George has it Greg. I discovered that little trick a few weeks ago. Look behind you. "</p>
<p> "I have seen it all, he is taking himself for a walk."</p>
<p> " he doesn't drop it either. Even when tinkling. "</p>
<p> "Sometimes I love it when you get all prim and proper, he is pissing My not tinkling. Ice cracking in a glass of something  very tasty tinkles, dogs piss."</p>
<p> "Really Greg, a little decorum please, besides I like tinkle."</p>
<p> " My George can piss solid for almost five minutes while still walking and smelling, he doesn't tinkle."</p>
<p> " When we are at the pet store this week end we will need more balls, he crunched through another two tennis balls this week alone. Our boys  ball crunching habit is getting expensive. Might try him with the solid ones instead of the tennis balls. We may need a new paddling pool  as well, his claws went through it again there is more duck tape than pool now. What if we try one  of those hard plastic pools  instead. </p>
<p> "That might actually be a better solution Gregory, after all we are having a doggie day care day next week, we have Bella while Tom and Gary are at a wedding, we have her over night. Tom said the last time they left her at kennels was a disaster, she hates them much like George."</p>
<p> " yea our poor boy being in kennels for as long as he was it's no surprise he doesn't like them is it. "</p>
<p> "Two days and she was matted. They hadn't brushed her. Tom said he was livid. He said him and Gary could have stayed at the Connaught for the same price and she came home matted. He said we didn't have to worry though she has had her summer cut and she looks like a poodle. "</p>
<p> "Poor Bella it's bad enough for George and he has short hair.   Talking of short hair. The filters gone on the vacuum again. He loses some hair daily doesn't he. Not sure that vacuum is strong enough for dog hair even if it says it is. I will brush him later. </p>
<p> "My where is he. Wheres he running to. "</p>
<p> "He waits until we have crossed the road then he runs for the park. Bella is usually waiting on him. Or he needs to defecate. "</p>
<p> "My he still has his lead in his mouth."</p>
<p> " I told you he doesn't drop it until I loosen it Greg. Watch. "</p>
<p> "Oh right. Oooff. Bella that hurt. Hi Tom. Yipe she looks weird Tom. Did he cut all your beautiful hair."</p>
<p> " I didn't the groomer did, that way I always rescue her from more harm. Gary get the blame not me. "</p>
<p> "Now that's sneaky. I thought you groomed her yourself. "</p>
<p> "No we do general brushing and daily maintenance, the groomer does the hard bit. She is a nightmare to wash Greg, you would think we are beating her with sticks, I was in tears the first time. She was howling in fear. Gary said she was just being a diva. He was right she behaves for the groomer, witch that she is. "</p>
<p> "But she is your witch. Look you seen the video of the door incident with George and then the aftermath of the duck incident with Sherlock and John, you know that has almost a million hits worldwide and still rising too. We had offers for George he is a superstar told them get out to their local rescue centre and find their own George, you have it easy with your diva mate."</p>
<p> " oh yes George certainly can get into some escapades. Tom how does she do at the beach. It's supposed to be nice next week end when we have her, Greg and I were thinking of taking them to my parents holiday cottage, it has a little secluded beach. We keep George on an extended lead when we are there, he won't come out the water otherwise. "</p>
<p> "Not sure Mycroft she hasn't been before. We tend to avoid water when her coat is long. Our groomer recommended we cut it for the summer, I must admit it is so much easier to keep that way. But I miss my elegant lady even if she is a blonde bimbo most of the time. Your lucky you got brains and good looks, Bella was at the back of the wrong queue when they were handing out brains. Going by previous experience with her I would say not to take her. Her throwing a stroop while funny can cause severe ear ache. She gets loud very very loud."</p>
<p> "Where are those two. Dam the duck pond. Shit, if Ian finds them in that pond we are banned. Again. "</p>
<p> "Run for it Tom, come on quick before they see the fucking ducks. I fucking hate ducks now. They sucker them in let them think they are harmless then turn round and bite them frequently. Those things fucking bite hard."</p>
<p> " Greg Tom lose something again. "</p>
<p> "We lost sight of them Ian, sorry. They didn't get in did they."</p>
<p> " no I managed to stop them this time. It's amazing what a  loud cry of bad boy and  bad girl can do. You need to try it sometimes gentlemen. Now put those two back on their leads. Or  you will be getting mugged just further along Greg. Local nursery is here with toddlers, feeding the ducks, let's not put temptation in the path of that  pair of hooligans shall we when there's small kiddies around. "</p>
<p> "Sorry Ian. Leads on right now. See."</p>
<p> " keep them on too. "</p>
<p> " God why does that man make me feel like a rowdy kid getting a telling off from their father. Every fucking time he catches us with them off their leads before the dog area. We will have got brownie points though. "</p>
<p> "And how do you think that may I ask Gregory."</p>
<p> " poop bags, the florescent green of biodegradable poop bags, full poop bags Mycroft. We still have them so he knows we aren't responsible for putting them in the bins. We keep a hold of them and use the dog waste bins. Brownie points. And we need as many as we can get with that pair. "</p>
<p> "You do realise he slips them treats don't you. It's why he always catches them off their leads, they run up  to him."</p>
<p> " you pair of traitors. We get the telling off and you pair get treats. "</p>
<p> "We better take the other path avoid the scrum of sticky hands trying to pet these two. Now I know George likes them but he doesn't seem to get they don't bounce when he knocks them over with that tail of his, fuck he knocks me over with the thing never mind kids. He manages to catch me just behind my knees all the time  and that tail hurts its bloody lethal sometimes."</p>
<p> "Bellas is like a whip never hitting the same spot twice but leaving marks of its passing not that am into that kind of thing. Stop laughing you two. It's bad enough when Gary does it without you two. Stop laughing at me. Bella bite them. No not kisses you bimbo. Why am I saddled with a husband and friends that think am just as much of an airhead as my beautiful and stupid blonde Afghan hound. Am really not you know. But my brain to mouth filter gets clogged sometimes. Stop laughing at least I have one sometimes unlike someone's brother."</p>
<p> " you have that straight any way. Did My tell you the latest. </p>
<p> "What did he do this time."</p>
<p> " you know how George and Bella like dirty water. "</p>
<p> "Yes much to my dry cleaners glee, yours too I bet Mycroft, do you use the ones just off Piccadilly. "</p>
<p> "Yes Tom why. "</p>
<p> "I use the same one. They always grin when I go in now. Think am singlehandedly putting their daughter through university. "</p>
<p> "You are i was allocated their son. "</p>
<p> "God what we put up with. I wonder why sometimes then I look at her after she has been bathed and groomed and say that's why. But never when we have to fish them out of some foul smelling puddle of mud and muck that seems to open up in front of us just as our pair of canine disasters step in up to their necks and seeing as those necks aren't the same height I blame them.  Have you noticed that they always have a small clean dry patch just between their shoulder blades or is that just Bella. "</p>
<p>" never noticed sorry, a bit hard to notice when nine times out of ten I don't want to get with in breathing distance without a gas mask when that happens never mind touching distance. I swear they do it deliberately. Have you seen both their grins after we pull them out. "</p>
<p> "So back to Sherlock and John, now I am pretty sure George has never been to a crime scene least of all  one involving the Thames. My brother has and it is never pretty when he does. So John's at work and Sherlock  is on his own. Now both Greg and I have tried to explain to John that he needs to lock Sherlock in their flat when he has to go to work. He never listens and just turns round and laughs at us. Well there I am waiting on Greg clearing from the scene we had dinner reservations at Isabella's it was a date night for us. Sherlock was supposed to be watching George for a few hours normally we would have just left him in the house but He was complaining because mummy was bragging she had him for the full weekend. So we decided he could have him while we went dinner. Now bearing in mind George really isn't the most intelligent dog around London he adores Sherlock. I personally think he sees him as an over grown two legged puppy, and that analogy really  does describe and explain Sherlock very well don't you think. "</p>
<p> "Oh, yes it does a bit."</p>
<p> " stop laughing Gregory and you too Tom. Back to the Thames, George was being the good boy he is. For me. When Sherlock come up and says "give me George he can help me sniff out clues. " now as we know the only thing George smells is where his treats are stored and things to bathe or roll in. So George willingly follows Sherlock, he removes George's leash and tells him to find it. Now as we know what that command means to George but Sherlock didnt chaos then rained down upon the crime scene as George valiantly went looking for a tennis ball. Now luckily the forensic team had finished their job's or my good boy would have ruined their crime scene and contaminated the evidence. Now on the  team that evening was Harry Collins, have you meet him Tom, he works with the canine unit and happened to have a ball in one of his trouser pockets. His own canine partner was still in his travel kennel in the back of his vehicle when George found the ball as Sherlock commanded. So my good boy is bouncing as he does when he has found exactly what Sherlock  told him to find. Now Harry is a seasoned dog owner and well trained police dog handler but he is not George or Sherlock trained. Instead of giving George any commands at all, he yells at Sherlock to come and get his dog away from him. As Sherlock approaches George  starts bouncing again as Harry has put his hands in his pocket, of course George thinks Harry is getting the ball out. Of course he isn't but George doesn't see that he sees Harry throw his hand back George starts to run while trying to watch where Harry throws the non existent ball. Need less to say he bowls Sherlock over the embankment wall and into the Thames. Now Harry has started to realise what George was doing and he had started to laugh next thing we hear an all mighty splash and George is up on his hind legs looking over the embankment wall wondering where the non existent ball went and had Sherlock caught it instead. The full crime scene is by this time myself included howling with laughter. George is still hoping Sherlock managed to catch the ball. Swearing can be heard coming from the foreshore. Yet again I find myself with a exceptionally wet brother lamenting yet again the cost of dry cleaning that Bellstaff and replacing his shoes although at least this time it was only water. Thankfully. So my very wet brother turns to me and Says. " See the next time I ask for George because you are deliberately favouring mummy over me, remind me of this won't you. And if I find out you have sent the cctv footage to John or mummy you will regret it. Am I clear.  "Before he stomped off shouting at George to come. George is by then realising Harry still has a ball. So he is looking at Harry and then back to Sherlock. Harry then knows our good boy won't leave  without his prize after all he had followed his orders perfectly. So Harry goes into his pocket and gives George the ball and with a "Good boy George" off he trots to catch up with Sherlock. "<br/> "After we had dinner and went to pick him up, he still had the ball in his mouth. John was laughing at the cctv footage and Sherlock was sulking on the couch."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>